‘Once upon a time in a land far, far away…’
As an avid reader this phrase conjures so many happy, escapist memories of my childhood. The lands I visited at the top of the Magic Faraway Tree, the places I went with Dr Seuss, the mythical realms I glimpsed through my grandmother’s giant book of fairy tales. But what does it actually mean?
It means another time and another place, preferably one where, although there may be trials, everything works out in the end. It’s an ocean we dive into when we read stories, emerging dripping and cleansed to continue with our ‘real’ life.
Can these faraway places influence our day-to-day life? Not much, you might say, as you think about how easy it was for the three little pigs to build their houses while you’re struggling to pay the mortgage. Or how Cinderella won the heart of a prince who loved her and cherished her ‘happily ever after’, while your partner barely speaks to you. But our personal ‘far, far away’ is buried in our own ‘once upon a time’: our childhood experiences which secretly guide the decisions we make in adult life.
Our stories
We create our own inner stories that repeat over and over through the course of our lives. A child who feels left out in their family may create their own ‘I am alone’ story, and thereafter surround themselves with people who reinforce how they see their world. They continue throughout their adult life to feel lonely when surrounded by others.
These childhood stories, taken on at specific times for specific reasons, are often no longer relevant to our adult selves. In fact, they hold us back. But take heart – they can be rewritten.
We constantly time travel in our minds, and our brains perceive no difference between reality and these internal imaginings, so going back into our past and reclaiming those childhood aspects of us, healing them and allowing them to express their childish joy, clears these patterns from our present life and changes our understanding of what ‘happily ever after’ truly means to us.
Remaking childhood
In my healing work I’ve seen family relationships, fraught for decades, transformed from pain to peace. I’ve seen individuals rediscover their childlike wonder and embrace the world’s beauty as if for the first time. I’ve seen people let go of comfortable ruts to embrace their soul path joyfully and successfully.
These childhood patterns can be buried deep, but like any game of hide and seek they can always be found. The path is in front of you, it’s your choice to step forward.
~ ~ ~
And then…
Sarah Elwell’s beautiful story Everywoman And The Monsters tells a tale of a woman hurt in childhood who finds the courage to embrace her true self. I’ve kept this blog post short so you can read it – I hope you come away with the same feeling of joy and peace I get every time I read it.